Category Archives: Make Me Laugh

Dear Eleanor

So here’s the thing: we all embarrass ourselves once in a while. Like that time I tried to text a sympathetic e-mail to my boyfriend that said “Oh baby, I’m so sorry” but my phone decided to “correct” it to “Ooh baby, I’m do dirty.” That was awesome.

Those ones are our fault. We’ve made the mistake, we pay the embarrassing price. Those are the ones I find easier to get over because really, you goofed and you’ve just got to accept it. It’s the times when you don’t have a choice but to humiliate yourself – those are the epic moments. Like what happened to my brother not too long ago.

My bro is the manager of a local restaurant. He’s one of those super-social, funny, outgoing guys that everybody likes. He’s not shy and certainly doesn’t embarrass easily. On the list of his many natural gifts and talents however, I wouldn’t include singing. It’s not that he sounds like a seagull, but he’s really no Pavarotti, let’s put it that way.

The restaurant at which he works is a fairly swanky joint. You know, the kind where the waiters wear long aprons and even the women wear ties. It’s a great place that I would highly recommend, but don’t expect it to be the kind of spot where the servers to come out with a ridiculous hat to plunk on your head while they screech out some bastardized version of happy birthday that not-so-subtly mentions the name of their establishment. No, this is the kind of place where you have a romantic, candlelit dinner with your lover after you send a suggestive e-mail.

Anyhoo, not too long ago my brother was serving a table of four who requested that he bring out a customized birthday cake for their dessert. When they gave the signal, he was to light the candles and present the cake in a blaze of unexpected glory for the birthday girl. He was ready. They gave the nod. With a flourish, he emerged from the kitchen with the cake in hand and in a loud, clear voice, began to sing.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY To… you…” his eyes darted around wildly. Was his the only voice ringing through the restaurant? Where were his co-workers? “Happy… gasp…” His voice was cracking. Why was no one helping him out? The table of four was scowling at him, mouths pressed firmly into thin lines. His co-workers stared at him wide-eyed, unable to look away from the trainwreck they saw before them… it was clear that he was alone in this.

“Happy birthday dear… dear…” he searched the table’s faces for a sign. Why hadn’t he confirmed her name ahead of time?

“Eleanor,” barked one of the men at the table.

“Eleanoooooooorrr….” quavered the lone voice. “Happy birthday to you.”

Silence. Crickets. The server’s breath coming out in puffs. Hadn’t they asked for this? Why hadn’t someone joined in? He gave a shaky smile and returned to the kitchen to hang his head.

And just like that, it was over. Silverware once again clattered against plates. Someone cleared his throat. Patrons resumed their conversations and presumably, the table of four started to dig into their cake.

Why hadn’t anyone bailed the poor guy out? It’s a mystery for the ages. But for one poor soul (and let’s face it – everyone else in the restaurant that night) it will be a memory to last a lifetime. I wonder how long it will take before rumours start to fly about the singing waiter at the place down the street? Will he take requests?

The moral of the story, folks, is that we all have our moments. And as awesome as it is to laugh at our brothers when they make asses of themselves (and oh, how I do laugh), we have to remember that an embarrassing situation can happen to anyone, at any time. It doesn’t matter if you’re outgoing or not, sometimes you just have to go back to the kitchen and hang your head.

– Love From Sarah


Choose happy

You probably thought I fell off the face of the earth. Well genius, that can’t actually happen. Actually, I’ve been hiding under a rock and feeling a little sorry for myself. So, what’s the remedy? I figure it’s laughter. So let’s be fabulous bears and laugh our tooshies off.

Muah.

Thanks to the usual site!


Don’t cry over spilled milk

The funniest thing happened the other day. It was one of those creeper-funnies, you know? Like at first you feel like you’re in the middle of a nuclear war, but then once you have a minute or two to process it you realize how hysterically funny the whole thing was/is.

Let me set the scene:

It’s Friday evening. I’m relaxing on the couch, talking to my friend on the phone. The Man is in the kitchen, cookin’ up some dinner. It has been two days since I got home from New York City, so naturally my suitcase is still beside the couch, its contents spilling over. My convo is winding down and we’re in the process of saying our goodbyes when The Man comes into the room with his dinner plate in one hand and the jug of milk in the other, headed for the couch/coffee table.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, disaster strikes.

As I’m laughing and reminiscing, I hear a loud THUNK! The Man yelps and lurches into view. He’s tripped over the suitcase! Silly Man! What happens next is a blur. There are shrieks (is that me?), plates tipping precariously in every direction. And milk. So much milk.

In an attempt to save his dinner from hitting the floor, The Man has created some sort of milk bazooka, savagely covering every last inch of the living room with the spray of that cold white substance. And I’m no help. Rachel’s still on the phone, yelling “What’s wrong? Why are you screaming? Is everything ok??” while I’m bellowing something to the effect of “hoooAAAAAAAHHH! Are you ok? The milk! THE MILK!!”

It might have only lasted ten seconds, but oh, what a ten seconds. When the jug of milk is finally settled on the table, its last few trickles pooling at its blue plastic base, we are finally able to assess the damage. The Man’s foot: it’s ok. No blood, just a few aching toes. The carpet has fared far worse – it’s soaked through. The couch and my laptop have been mercifully spared for the most part, but now the cleanup begins. In a haze of paper towel and dish cloths, we try to sop up the milky mess.

And then… I start to laugh. I can’t help it. At first it’s one of those keep-it-inside ones where you’re holding your breath and shaking all over. Finally it comes spilling out just as abundantly as the milk. I’m even apologizing as I’m doing it. “BAHAHAHA I’m sorry! Are you OK?! BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MILK! All the milk! I’ll move my suitcase! Milk bazooka!”

And The Man starts to laugh too. There we sit, on a Friday night, doubled over in laughter over spilled milk. After all, what else is there to do in a situation such as this?

xo

Love From Sarah

Thanks to my friend Jason Willis for creating that image. And yes, that’s really The Man. Sorry for doing this to you, love.

PS Mom, may I please borrow your carpet cleaner? Summer’s coming and bringing warmer weather with it … 😀


I’m a Baller

Well hello! I guess you thought I had disappeared, but really I was just being my bear-like self and hibernating. But my keen senses tell me that spring is in the air and it’s time to get back to the land of the living.

This post is partly just for fun and partly for courage. You see my friends, I have signed myself up to play softball. I have never played softball. Well, ok maybe once or twice in elementary school, but still… Anyhoo, our first practice is tonight and I’m scared to death. I’m scared because I feel like I might keel over, but also because the cat will be out of the bag and my teammates will finally realize how little (if any) sporty skills I have.

But trying counts, right? Eek! Wish me luck, little bears. Now laugh.

As always, thanks to The Berry, Damn You Autocorrect, Awkward Family Photos and others!

Love From Sarah

 


Let’s pretend it’s not snowing

We can pretend, right? Secretly though, I don’t really mind that it’s snowing. “Excuse me,” I hear you say. “But who are you and what have you done with my friend Sarah? You know, the one who loves warm sunshine and despises slush?” Well don’t worry little bears, it’s really me. The reason I’m not concerned about the snow is that in a week from today, I’ll be on a beach in Cuba! So snow, do you worst (except not your WORST, because I don’t want my flight to be cancelled) from now until the end of Mach. MUAHAHAHA!

In the meantime, here are some things to make you laugh.

Happy March Break, everyone! Check out The Berry, Damn You Autocorrect and The Chive for more fun.

Love From Sarah


Wake up from your slumber, little bears.

*SNORT… w… what? Oh, sorry. I’ve been hibernating instead of blogging. Maybe these funnies will help me get out of winter snooze mode. Enjoy!

Hope that helped you, too! Have a super duper fantastic day, my friends!

As usual, with some help from The Berry, Damn You Autocorrect and Awkward Family Photos.

Love From Sarah


Bear-y Funny

I’ve always loved bears. Bears in general and my own teddy bear in specific. Today’s post has a bear-y noticeable amount of cuddly creatures in it, but that’s pretty much just coincidental because all I was trying to do here was make a laugh-y kind of post.

I hope you like it bear-y much.

As always, with bear-y much thanks to The Berry, The Chive, and Awkward Family Photos

Have a fantastic weekend!

Love From Sarah


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